when did it all go wrong?

There was a man who didn't know who he was. His daughter didn't know who she was. They were both pretty fucked up, but both of them thought they'd be fine. She had no direction, and no motivation, and quite frankly, didn't even see the point of her existence. But nevertheless, she kept going, and kept trying to see the positives in everything. Her best friend turned out to be someone who didn't even think about other people, only herself, so the girl couldn't rely on her anymore either. So she kept making mistakes. Except they weren't really mistakes, she meant to make them. She didn't understand herself. Everything she did made her heart stretch a little bit more in each direction.
Her father, well she didn't even know who he was. It turned out that when he'd left her mum, he'd fallen into suicidal depression. She vaguely knew what depression meant at 9, now at 18 she's experiencing it. Most days. Others, she thinks she feels fine. That word again, fine. She watches people, trying to see the point in everything. They seem normal. Maybe behind their smiles they're feeling as pointless as she is. Is everyone's life as fake as hers?, she thinks. She doesn't want to die though, but her heart hurts a little too much to feel like she's living, properly. She drinks and tries to make the pain that doesn't feel like pain anymore, go away. It doesn't work. She'll probably be fine though. Maybe her dad will be fine too. Fine.